


I may never sleep tonight

by flyingisabetterwordforfalling (FlyingFalling)



Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, Married Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Parabatai Bond, Parents Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Protective Magnus, Protective Siblings, Runes, Sleepy Cuddles, my personal headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 12:27:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8144027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingFalling/pseuds/flyingisabetterwordforfalling
Summary: The High Warlock of Brooklyn lay on his side, his head comfortably resting on one of the pillows, for once enjoying the silence of night. For hours he had been tracing the shadows, which the moon cast on the sleeping face of his husband, with the tips of his fingers. Over the years he had been getting weaker, less fragile, and yet Magnus adored watching him sleep.He adored watching his peaceful features, the soft lines around his lips and eyes, and after years and years by his side could now even spot the tiniest of wrinkles.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The titel of the story is a part of the song ''Trade Mistakes'' by Panic! At the Disco.

 

 _I may never sleep tonight,_  
 _As long as you're still burning bright_  
  
The High Warlock of Brooklyn lay on his side, his head comfortably resting on one of the pillows, for once enjoying the silence of night. For hours he had been tracing the shadows, which the moon cast on the sleeping face of his husband, with the tips of his fingers. Over the years he had been getting weaker, less fragile, and yet Magnus adored watching him sleep.  
  
He adored watching his peaceful features, the soft lines around his lips and eyes, and after years and years by his side could now even spot the tiniest of wrinkles. Watching Alec was still one of his favourite activities, yet knowing he could not make up or stop time altogether Magnus feared even more for him when Alec got out and fought against demons. His parabatai and also all of their children and most of their family members were with him then.  
Most importantly the Shadowhunters, thus fellow soldiers, Alec had been fighting alongside since he had been barely a teenager, almost still a child, yet it did not entirely calm his husband's nerves.  
  
Fearing for one person he loved was enough for his heart to start racing every time the others came back seemingly without Alec by their side, only for him to trail slightly behind the others, sometimes more or less hurt, an arm around their son -or more often than not around his equally injured parabatai-  who more than once had to carry him back to the Institute. Knowing both of them were out there often enough risking their lives was almost too much to bear.  
  
Magnus had never understood how an old friend of his could have loved two Shadowhunters at the same time without her heart shattering into thousands of pieces while being worried sick and fearing one or even both might fall in battle -without her ever being able to see them again.   
  
Most of them, the other Shadowhunters, had never once in their lives gone with a farewell, overly confident, too trusting in their skills and knowledge. Too many of these mostly young soldiers had died tragically, some having just recently outgrown their tender years... Magnus Bane had over time seen so many of them, children of every race alike die for nothing but racial hate and variance.

Similar to his magic, fighting was their destiny, it ran through their veines, the one thing neither of them could give up. Not even for him and Magnus would never ask it of them. Nor would Max, who had never become his brother's parabatai and still followed him in almost every single fight and even battle he got into, where his brother was there was the other one of his sons as well -in an attempt to shield and protect him.  
Just like their parents they used the Alliance rune and despite that, all other runes he could not bear directly on his skin Rafael wore on a necklace.  
He would deny it but Magnus had years ago figured out why he did it, at first to not feel left out and then to feel closer to his family, knowing of course, the runes on a chain were merely symbols without their true power.  
  
It was the same with Magnus' wedding runes he wore under his garments, as close to his heart as they could get without literally burning his skin. His wedding band had been on his ringfinger for almost twenty years by now, the prominent first letter of his spouse's family ring had so long ago gotten Downworlders and Shadowhunters alike to look at him strangely and even to whisper behind his back. He had not cared about their opinions then and he did not care about them now.  

  
However all of them knew the unspoken truth.  
Despite being the one Magnus had chosen to spend his life with they both knew how short human lives actually were, and so where Alec's and Rafael's. Thus, Magnus was terrified nearly every time Rafael joined his father in his fights to protect the ones they both loved. Knowing why they did all of it was never enough, still Magnus would never try to hold them back.  
  
It had become a tradition in their family to say goodbye to one another whenever one of them left for some time; and as much as Magnus tried to fight besides them he often enough stayed out of the battles, trusting in his family's abilities. Yet, even Rafael -despite being in his fathers' eyes still a teenager who seemed to avoid being overly emotional, especially around his parents and brother- told his father that he loved him before he went out with his fellow Shadowhunters.  
   
They had been raised and trained as soldiers after all. Even Rafael despite Alec fearing for years the Institute would take him away from his parents to grow up entirely as a Shadowhunter. He had not, had learnt everything his parents could teach him about their respective backgrounds and was now proud of being who he was.  
  
Notwithstanding Magnus could not ease his sorrow and blamed his age, for having seen and lost too much to be able to count it all. Around his family and during the day he was his usual cheerful self, only at night got pensive and when Alec eventually awakened in the middle of the night, somehow feeling watched or simply sensing the still alert presence of his husband he would sleepily reach for him and pull him closer to him.  
Eventually Magnus would fall asleep in the end, listening to the steady beating of his husband's, Alexander Lightwood's, heart.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
